Sex Education

When I was 8 years old
I kissed my friend on the cheek
without thinking.
I still feel the playground gravel
on my face
the words
“that's disgusting!”
ringing in my head.

When I was 12 years old
I stared at the diagram on the board
a woman and a man
and I felt like that
I did
I liked boys and that
was normal so it was
my normal.

When I was 14 years old
I watched wet mouthed as a girl
who hated me
sneered the word dyke
from a cupids bow
mouth that
I wanted
to taste.

When I was 16 years old
I had my first boyfriend
and so I couldn't be confused.
His touch set fires in my skin
and if my head
turned when a woman
walked past, well
didn't everyone's?

When I was 18 years old
I had my hand up a stranger's skirt
and couldn't say
afterwards who was
more shocked
because I liked boys
so couldn't understand
what happened.

When I was 20 years old
I knew what 'bisexual' meant
and the song inside
was one of rage.
Nobody told me
you could be grey
in a world of
black and white.